There is a lot of talk about cyberbullying, taunting, and blatant cruelty that happens on social media, but video gaming is another large arena where these things play out yet get much less attention.
I am excited to have just released a new Screenagers Podcast episode, Mean Behind the Screen, to address this topic.
In the episode, we hear from a teen about this experience. I talked with Dr. Kishonna Gray, an assistant professor of digital studies at the University of Kentucky who researches human dynamics in video game play. Dr. Gray shares many great pointers on how parents can help kids and teens navigate these complex dynamics.
Today’s blog highlights key points from my interview with Dr. Gray. The full interview, which has even more practical takeaways, includes insights from a gamer about bullying while gaming.
Have a listen, and if you share the podcast with even just one person, please email me and let me know. I want to thank you personally! Delaney@screenagersmovie.com
Listen Here: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // Youtube // Website
Here are some highlights.
1. What is going on in those headphones?
“Trash-talking is a thing,” Dr. Gray says. “The toxic language is a thing. So is a lot of the F word, the homophobic-like language, then the racist words. They’re calling each other the N-word. They’re also using very sexist language.”
“Now I know a lot of parents are like, Oh my gosh, I’m getting my kids out of there,” she continues. “Hold on, parents. Slow down.”
Dr. Gray works with parents and youth to help them navigate the hard parts of video game culture, like cyberbullying and offensive language.
2. Play with Your Kids, Don’t Pull The Plug
Dr. Gray encourages parents to play video games with their kids. “What’s important is to game with your kids,” she says. “Most parents won’t do that. I don’t know why. But I’m like, play with your kids. My kids have always allowed me inside their spaces. Now I give them privacy when they’re with their girlfriends and stuff. Like, I know when to leave, but I know their core group enough because I was in there when they were 7 and 8 and 9. And so they’ve grown up with this same core group, so I know who they all are.”
But what if you’re not skilled enough to keep up with your kids? Fear not. Dr. Gray says having open communication and interest is an inroad. She says, “Not all parents have the skill set to play, and not all kids have the patience to teach their parents. So first, we have to be mindful of that. But I think there’s another route, just having that relationship where talking about your day, did anything cool happen? And this is where it’s important to know who their friends are.”
3. Learn the Lingo by Googling the Games Your Kids are Playing
Knowing the details about what your kids are playing and who they are playing with will make conversing with them easier. Dr. Gray says if you don’t know anything about the games your kids are playing, Google them. Learn the terms, characters, and important things your kids care about, then talk to them about it. “It doesn’t take that long to just Google the latest things that are happening inside Fortnite, Roblox, or Minecraft.
Listen to the episode here for more on my conversation with Dr. Gray: Apple Podcasts // Spotify // Youtube // Website. It is also an excellent episode to have kids and teens listen to.
Questions to get the conversation started with your family or group.
- There are many fun elements to video gaming, let’s name some.
- What types of aggressive words and behaviors do you see play out?
- Why do you think trash-talking happens frequently during gaming?
- What do you do when someone gets mean?
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